and i remember the nails that You took for me when You died in my shame and iniquity

Sometimes, I really don't like myself.

Last night was the Mat Kearney concert. I adore him, so I was thrilled when I found out he was coming to play at the Canopy Club. Unfortunately, I never saw him perform. I remember seeing a little bit of the opening act, I remember taking a few bites from a Subway sandwich, I remember puking in a garbage can... and that's about it. I paid 15 bucks for my ticket and another 25 for a t-shirt that I lost. So that's 40 dollars wasted.

Wasted. That was me.

On the retreat last weekend, I decided that I was going to try to live a different kind of life. A life that glorifies Christ. So much for that. Temptation is everywhere. This university is literally dripping with temptation. I'm beginning to worry that I'll never be able to be the person I want to be.

As I walked in the crisp fall air to class this morning, I was listening to Leeland's new album. And suddenly, I was just overcome with emotion. My eyes welled up and I felt sorry. At the same time, though, I felt thankful for forgiveness. I messed up. But I am forgiven.

"Chains Hit the Ground" by Leeland

I’m holding on to You

It’s all I know to do

When fear has had me bound

When enemies surround

There’s freedom in this truth

My salvation is in You

And I remember the nails that You took for me

When You died in my shame and iniquity

Jesus, You have set me free

The thorns of my pain You wore in a crown

When You bowed Your head

Your love was poured out

And my chains hit the ground

You are the Rock I’ve found

Above the shifting ground

Amid a raging war

You’re the One I’m fighting for

For all of my years

My banner will be clear

I am Yours

And even though the waves, they crash below

I’m holding onto love

I’m holding onto love

I am Yours

Forever all my days, I lay before Your holy love

I’m holding onto love